“Oh hi. It’s Paula I left a message on your phone earlier. I wanted…”

“Yes, here it is. I’ve got it in front of me. I was just about to call.” There was a halting tap-tapping coming from the phone “Ah, yes. Now it’s 0183…Paula! You’re from Angel aren’t you? I recognise the code. You see Sal’s ill and it’s taken all morning to re-jig her appointments. Much much longer than I thought and I really was going to phone earlier. You were next on the list. You see…”

“Please.” I interrupted “please, it’s not a problem. Really. Could I make an appointment to have my hair cut…with Sal?”

“I truly was going to phone but the morning just went and…” I broke in again

“ It’s not a problem. Honestly. But may I make an appointment?”

“Oh. Oh yes. When would like one? You are Paula from Angel aren’t you?”

“No I’m afraid not. I’m Paula from Hatherleigh…and as soon as possible please. I’ve lank rats’ tails!”

“Oh dear.” There was more rapid tapping “I’m afraid the earliest is next Monday. What do you want done?”

“Cut…a cut please…oh and Sal generally does a bit of funky toner on the fair bits. But that’s not important if she’s pushed.  At what time?”

“Let me see… ummm, quarter to one?”

“Excellent. So that’s next Monday the 9th at 12.45 for a cut with Sal”

“No, no. No, 2.30.”

“Ahh. I thought you…oh never mind. Okay 2.30 then?”

“Yes. I’ve got your contact details haven’t I? Paula from Angel and your phone number is 01392*****…”

“No Paula from Hatherleigh and my number is 01837******.”

“Oh of course it is! I asked you before. Okay, we’ll see you next Monday then. Byee.”

“Bye and thanks”

Feeling a little perplexed I put the phone down, almost immediately it began to ring again…

“Oh hello, it’s Pat. I’m sorry Paula; Monday looked very different once I looked at it. I’m afraid we can’t do anything till Thursday at the very earliest.”

“That’s a shame. But okay so that’s Thursday week. And what time?”

“No, Thursday this week.”

“Erm, but that’s sooner? That’s this week sooner, but hey, that’s good. So what time?”


“Any chance of something earlier?”

“Yes, let me see? 10.30? 11.00? 12.00?”

“10.30 is perfect. Thanks. So that’s this Thursday at 10.30 with Sal”…”for a cut.” I added quickly

“Oh not with Sal, that’s with Sam and Julian.”

“Uh? Umm, I did say Sal. And I only need one person to cut my hair. There’s not an awful lot of it.”

“Oh well then that’s different. What was it you want done? A full head of colour wasn’t it?”

“No, a cut. Just a cut. With Sal.”

“Well that is different. I’m afraid we haven’t anything for at least two weeks if it’s with Sal…”

“Oookay. So it’s got to be Thursday two weeks. What time? Early would be good.”

“Monday,  not Thursday. Yes Sal can do Monday. 2.30 suit you?”

“A bit earlier would be good. Have you something earlier?”

“Yes. 12.45.”

“Great! That’s definite? Yes? 12.45 for a cut with Sal on Monday 16th?”

“No. Monday 9th.”

“But…that’s where we started off from.” I squeaked into the phone “That’s exactly the same day and time you first gave me…”

Have I’ve been had? Have I been framed?  Was it a dream?  Somebody pinch me!

I just want my hair cut...