Well, I’m speechless. Lost for words. Flabbergasted.

Severn, one of the sedate elders of the herd, came bulling.  Although she’s getting old and still has a large calf sucking, on Saturday morning she was in full flagrant heat and kicking up a rumpus in the cow palace.

As the cattle are inside Mr Big is no longer running with the cows and calves so I walked her round to his pen. He was delighted at this diversion, not having had any action for a month or more, and began his chat up line without a moment’s hesitation.  Sniffing, licking, snorting, nose crinkled up towards the heavens, nose ring practically touching his eyebrows in excitement and anticipation. Drooling and sweating, he gauged a couple of minutes to be enough foreplay and attempted to mount her.

She was having none of it. Tail clamped firmly down she shimmied and sashayed away from him at the crucial moment. Frustrated, but experienced, he resumed his advances. I left them to get their act together and got on with the chores.

After about an hour or so Mr Big was still having no success and his frustration and impatience was beginning to overspill into aggression.  So I decided to move Severn in with the new youngster, the toy boy.

I couldn’t believe my eyes… she she flashed him a long, smouldering, come-hither gaze as soon was she through the gate of his pen, and with barefaced brazen lust  presented him with a backside on fire and stood as firm as a rock as the show began. Rampant, raw, unrefined sex exploded throughout the cow palace. Mr Big howled with damaged pride at one end of the shed while the new ‘Mr Small’ roared in virile sexual frenzy at the other.   Severn, respectable Miss Marpleseque Severn, coudn’t get enough of it!

After a couple of hours of non stop activity the pair settled down to a late breakfast, exhausted and replete.  Her belly full and libido sated, Severn demanded to be returned to her calf; she swaggered back to the cows with this almost human smirk. And I swear the grin hasn’t left her face yet.

severn and her new 'toy' enjoy a late breakfast!

Severn and her new toy, Mr Small, enjoy a late breakfast! Now I understand it was not for nothing was she duped 'Seven of Nine' - of Voyager fame (see ear tag, and her name...)