A few days ago I was a fairly reasonable, sane-ish person. In the flick of a switch I’ve changed into an obsessive, compulsive, agitated idiot. Why…
Our organic silage harvest should be well underway by the end of June; instead, this year, the fields look considerably under the weather – literally – with flattened grass and bubbling water. We have to wait for a run of good weather firstly to dry out the land to allow machinery on it without damage and secondly to cut, turn and dry the grass before it’s baled, wrapped and carried to the yard for storing. (We like to make our silage on the dry side, a cross between typical silage and hay, called haylage.)
Last week I wasn’t unduly stressed about the rain and cutting. Felt quite phlegmatic about it – after all there’s nothing I can do and everyone else is in the same boat.
On Friday I was working at Crede, Pavla’s boutique in Exeter. We were getting ready to go into sale and hold a customer preview evening. It’s a long and busy day – marking down clothes, re-merchandising the shop, washing and polishing, collecting glasses, ice and nibbles for the evening, as well as looking after customers. It was about lunch time, when, out of the blue, the first blush of neurosis started. It hadn’t rained for half a day. The blush deepened to dark rose.
Will phoned me at work, he and Kat, his girlfriend, are unexpectedly coming down for the weekend, it’s granny’s 85th birthday. ‘have you cut? you must have’ he said ‘we won’t be in the way?’ ‘of course we can always give you a hand too’.
‘no, Will, it’s too wet. haven’t started yet…’(anxiety and neurosis gurgled)
Driving home from Exeter in the dusk, I crane my neck to see over hedgerows and through gates. I concentrate more on the surrounding countryside than the road. Has anyone else taken the plunge? (obsession joins neurotic anxt)
Saturday is glorious. Olly looks at me with a quizzical stare ‘mum, are you going to?’
‘no, ground’s too wet. maybe tomorrow’
Sunday’s iffy. But the ground’s drying. We can cut tomorrow…Monday. But it rains, and rains, the met office issue a severe weather warning…and another.
I’m now obsessively (fanatically, compulsively) checking weather sites, I’ve five, or six bookmarked. Our contractors have been alerted; Olly’s cleared the storage area of brambles. All’s ready. Everything’s waiting for the weather and me to say…go!
Back to those weather charts…I haven’t checked them for fifteen minutes.