I’ve been away. It was a spur of the moment decision made on Friday morning halfway through making a batch of quince and squash chutney. Well, I exaggerate, not wholly impulsive, I’d been toying with the idea ever since Will (3rd son) had suggested it a month or so ago. The time seemed right. Olly was around for the weekend… “100% mum. Though I’m going out Saturday evening.” And Robert had no pre-arranged ‘dos’ either.
After a couple of quick phone calls and very hastily potted chutney, I threw some essentials into a bag and was on the road by 2pm. It was the foulest drive imaginable. Busy roads, incessant rain, fierce wind and relentless spray, poor visibility…and dark! Six hours later I emerged, zombie-like, from the car.
Relieved to have arrived I push open the wicket gate and, clutching my basket, carefully walked down the slippy, uneven brick path. Lining the pathway are tall, darkly-dense box hedges crowned with mystical topiary beasts that moan and groan in the gusting wind and pelting rain. Drenched I reached the door, give a tap, turn the knob and step into another world. I blink in the soft light “Sorry I’m late…the roads…the rain, the traffic.” I thrust my basket towards Don “Supper.” Pulling it back to me I rummage around and take out a wrapped greaseproof package “Steak…fillet. Ours. Red Ruby.” I look up and smile “Quick to cook. Tender and mouth-watering…hopefully.” Grinning I dig into the basket again “And wood blewits. To go with the steak. From the woods above Marymead.” Carefully I lift out one of the starling violet-blue fungi “Aren’t they just extraordinary?” I hold it to the light “So beautiful…what an amazing colour. You’d think they were totally poisonous!” And lastly I take out a bottle of wine “And wine. To celebrate!” I pause, take a deep, slow breath and let my eyes wonder around the kitchen absorbing every little detail “How wonderful to be here. I feel recovered already!”
The friends I was staying with live in an old gardener’s cottage once attached to ‘The Big House’… to me it’s a place of enchantment. I’m Alice… stepping through the looking glass into another world; wood smoke, worn red-brick floors, milky glass, ancient timber framing and soft chalky walls. Colour; colour is everywhere – softly muted and earthy rich. And then there are the things! A jumble. A plethora. A marvellous abundance of treasure. I love it. I gather to me the extraordinary tapestry of senses and feast my soul.
Next day, the enchantment continues outside. An old oak barn tumbled with myrtle, rosemary and clematis, a hidden sculpture, a table, a summerhouse. Brick paths which turn into mazes of tall box hedges and fantastical topiary beings that lead one into small secret places…or with an unexpected twist guide you down a grand avenue (the Queen of Hearts?) to a pond and the rolling countryside beyond.
The reason for my visit? Time to reflect. On my memories. Of my mother and my closest family buried in the churchyard not a hundred yards away from the cottage. My father, my aunt, my uncle…and in a nearby village, my grandparents.
To me the month of November lends itself to recollection and introspection. November is a month of transition, a time for rest, a time of renewal and a time for resurrection. The darkening days, the wild weather, the slowing down of nature and the comfort of the home hearth make it so.
With the church bells ringing overhead I walk in the garden gathering sprays of crimson crab-apples, branches of myrtle and sprigs of rosemary which I take and lay on the still uneven turf of my mother’s grave and remember…..with love.

remembering


13 comments
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November 16, 2009 at 9:33 pm
LittleFfarm Dairy
Crab apple, blessed of farmers; myrtle, for love; rosemary, for remembrance…..how lovely, Paula.
November 16, 2009 at 10:05 pm
paula
…and you knew…as I knew you would.
November 17, 2009 at 3:20 pm
LittleFfarm Dairy
My dear friend – of course.
November 16, 2009 at 10:13 pm
mountainear
How good to know that such magical places still exist – and I know they do because I think I live in one – but it is good to have it confirmed. What a beautiful autumn posy too.
November 17, 2009 at 8:10 pm
paula
Surprising because of the area in which they live – so it’s a kind of an even-more-unexpected magical place!
But how special to live in one too…and realise it.
November 17, 2009 at 6:35 pm
Mopsa
It’s obviously time to get acquainted with wood blewits. What a lovely gift.
November 17, 2009 at 8:14 pm
paula
Them’s all gone now m’dear…
November 17, 2009 at 7:10 pm
mary
Nearly a year ago now Paula. I have just revisited your posts about Morna and looked at the photographs again. God bless Morna and all our mothers.
November 17, 2009 at 8:22 pm
paula
I know Mary. Strange thing time. And yes, bless them all.
November 22, 2009 at 12:10 am
elizabethm
I have some friends who live in such a place. If you can ever get up here I would love to take you and Robert.
November 22, 2009 at 9:58 pm
paula
That would be such a special treat elizabeth – and we would love to be taken. Thank you, so much…
November 22, 2009 at 9:07 pm
Catherine Sherman
I’ve been so moved by everything you have written about your mother and how beautifully you weave in this beautiful world we live in, even when it’s at its darkest, wettest and at the end of its season of growth. The death of a parent is so, so hard. Your mother was extraordinary, too, as is her daughter.
My old cat died on Friday, even though he was old, I felt he would go on forever. It has hit me hard, as he was such a big part of our family life, always there for 17 1/2 years, so his death marked the end of a chapter in our lives, so I think I am also mourning that, too. Now the children are grown and have moved on. Their childhood companion who grew sweeter by the years has left my husband and me, too. It truly is a time of reflection about love and loss. My father died in the late fall, and your words here makes me want to hold dear all the more everyone in my life and those I’ve grown close to, including you, Paula.
November 23, 2009 at 10:01 am
paula
Oh Cathy, and to think it was just last week, maybe even Friday itself, I was chuckling over your wonderful video clip of Malcolm enjoying a ‘hoover-groom’. I’m sure you are feeling quite desolate, and missing him extraordinarily…171/2 years is a very long time to have lived with and enjoyed all of Malcolm and for him to be an intrinsic part of your family. A pet dying leaves such a huge gap in one’s life…because, I guess, they are generally with one more than anyone else in the family. And you’ve just lost your father too…you are having a tough time. Mourning is such an individual and unpredictable thing; nothing can really be expected or unexpected. If you are able to give yourself the room for thoughts, memories and feelings to bubble up and time in which to embrace them that may help the healing process.
Meanwhile, my thoughts are with you Cathy and those who have so recently died. Please look after yourself.