“Oh hi. It’s Paula I left a message on your phone earlier. I wanted…”
“Yes, here it is. I’ve got it in front of me. I was just about to call.” There was a halting tap-tapping coming from the phone “Ah, yes. Now it’s 0183…Paula! You’re from Angel aren’t you? I recognise the code. You see Sal’s ill and it’s taken all morning to re-jig her appointments. Much much longer than I thought and I really was going to phone earlier. You were next on the list. You see…”
“Please.” I interrupted “please, it’s not a problem. Really. Could I make an appointment to have my hair cut…with Sal?”
“I truly was going to phone but the morning just went and…” I broke in again
“ It’s not a problem. Honestly. But may I make an appointment?”
“Oh. Oh yes. When would like one? You are Paula from Angel aren’t you?”
“No I’m afraid not. I’m Paula from Hatherleigh…and as soon as possible please. I’ve lank rats’ tails!”
“Oh dear.” There was more rapid tapping “I’m afraid the earliest is next Monday. What do you want done?”
“Cut…a cut please…oh and Sal generally does a bit of funky toner on the fair bits. But that’s not important if she’s pushed. At what time?”
“Let me see… ummm, quarter to one?”
“Excellent. So that’s next Monday the 9th at 12.45 for a cut with Sal”
“No, no. No, 2.30.”
“Ahh. I thought you…oh never mind. Okay 2.30 then?”
“Yes. I’ve got your contact details haven’t I? Paula from Angel and your phone number is 01392*****…”
“No Paula from Hatherleigh and my number is 01837******.”
“Oh of course it is! I asked you before. Okay, we’ll see you next Monday then. Byee.”
“Bye and thanks”
Feeling a little perplexed I put the phone down, almost immediately it began to ring again…
“Oh hello, it’s Pat. I’m sorry Paula; Monday looked very different once I looked at it. I’m afraid we can’t do anything till Thursday at the very earliest.”
“That’s a shame. But okay so that’s Thursday week. And what time?”
“No, Thursday this week.”
“Erm, but that’s sooner? That’s this week sooner, but hey, that’s good. So what time?”
“3.30”
“Any chance of something earlier?”
“Yes, let me see? 10.30? 11.00? 12.00?”
“10.30 is perfect. Thanks. So that’s this Thursday at 10.30 with Sal”…”for a cut.” I added quickly
“Oh not with Sal, that’s with Sam and Julian.”
“Uh? Umm, I did say Sal. And I only need one person to cut my hair. There’s not an awful lot of it.”
“Oh well then that’s different. What was it you want done? A full head of colour wasn’t it?”
“No, a cut. Just a cut. With Sal.”
“Well that is different. I’m afraid we haven’t anything for at least two weeks if it’s with Sal…”
“Oookay. So it’s got to be Thursday two weeks. What time? Early would be good.”
“Monday, not Thursday. Yes Sal can do Monday. 2.30 suit you?”
“A bit earlier would be good. Have you something earlier?”
“Yes. 12.45.”
“Great! That’s definite? Yes? 12.45 for a cut with Sal on Monday 16th?”
“No. Monday 9th.”
“But…that’s where we started off from.” I squeaked into the phone “That’s exactly the same day and time you first gave me…”
Have I’ve been had? Have I been framed? Was it a dream? Somebody pinch me!
I just want my hair cut...
help!
22 comments
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November 4, 2009 at 9:48 pm
elizabethm
Oh yes, I know! I am not good at going to the hairdressers and they don’t make it any easier. Mind you, yours was an extreme example. They make you wonder if you are going mad but sure it’s not you!
November 5, 2009 at 8:22 pm
paula
Generally it’s a two minute call – so total confusion made worse by compounded convoluted confusion!
November 4, 2009 at 9:56 pm
Kari Lonning
I was afraid the confusion was that you were talking to the vet or someone else and you had the number mixed up … OR, that they still thought you were that other Paula and when you got there they’d greet you with some bright pink dye job! (… so much so “touching up the fair bits!” … LOL!!!)
November 5, 2009 at 8:25 pm
paula
I know…slightly worrying. Haven’t had the nerve to ring them up to check it WAS them…shall do. Will take pics of the end (dramatic?) result!
November 4, 2009 at 10:04 pm
Big_Norm
I have given up going to the hairdresser! For what I have left on my head it only needs a trim twice a year. I don’t mind looking like a mad professor when it’s long cos thats a status leap for me.
The other reason is that I tend to think that ‘age is in the mirror’ and the ones they have these days make you look even worse.
After I bought the best haircutting scissors I could find I got my daughter to do the trimming. I took a 50 cent coin from her for supersticious reasons when I told her to keep them and take them home to use on her kids hair.
Best
Norm
November 5, 2009 at 8:28 pm
paula
I SO agree about mirrors…they never used to be like that! But I think we’ve got to have a photo now…all this whitish-grey has got us intrigued!
November 7, 2009 at 8:12 am
Norm
No chance!!
It took seven (7) years for one of your readers to get one! Guess how long you are going to have to wait!
(Em reader, please NO!)
November 5, 2009 at 6:15 pm
Jane
You need to change your hairdresser! I’ve got my hairdressers well trained now. I’ve been going to the same one, same girl for the last 9 years. They know I only go every 5 months or so… they know I look a wreck when I arrive, I need a total makeover, and I walk out feeling 10 ft high and swishing my hair from side to side. I always ring the day before… I nearly always get an appointment the next day. Bless em…. they don’t really make a penny out of me but they are so caring. They even sent me a £10 off discount card when I didn’t go for over 6 mths and send me a £10 discount and a card on my birthday… It’s also the only place I ever get to read Hello magazine and chat like a complete shallow girlie and have my hair massaged by a 18 yr old gay guy… I raise my glass to hairdressers everywhere!
November 5, 2009 at 8:33 pm
paula
In their defence – I think it was a wee bit of a dramatic situation…maybe! Sal’s fab and wouldn’t change her for the world – she unleashes my inner rock-chic! Maybe I should encourage this £10 voucher thingy? The whole episode was surreal but hilarious, in a mental-masochistic kind of way.
November 12, 2009 at 10:48 pm
Alex (iwalkdevon)
Hi Jane,
I love the sound of your hairdressers. Are they in Devon?
November 5, 2009 at 7:05 pm
heidi
Oh dear! My sister in-law does my hair, and she does a great job too. It’s a good thing I like her, and she likes me!
Even though she has her own salon,I used to go to another salon to try and maintain some autonomy after I got married. However I got fed up paying my egotistical and cranky hairdresser Guy to complain to me about his truly long suffering, sweetheart of a wife the entire time he styled my hair. I met her, she was sweet, and oh so long suffering.
He cut hair well, but not well enough to put up with. So off I went to my sister in-laws salon.
Free, fun,and good is way better than expensive, cranky and good.
I hope your hair is gorgeous when things get sorted out!
November 5, 2009 at 8:41 pm
paula
It was being filmed/taped for a Fawlty Towers remake! Well, it must have been. Yes? (Unfortunately, though, no one cuts hair in the family other than me…maybe that’s the clue?)
November 12, 2009 at 5:04 pm
Catherine Sherman
Very funny. I try to go to my hairstylist the same time every three weeks. (10 a.m. on a Friday) Any deviation, and the whole system falls apart. It’s more for therapy than style, I think.
November 16, 2009 at 9:56 pm
paula
I like it Cathy. Very sorted and I oh so know what you mean if it falls foul of some alien mischief maker!
November 12, 2009 at 10:46 pm
Alex (iwalkdevon)
I hate going to the hairdressers. If there is a name for people who have an incapacitating fear of the scissors-wielding folk, then, I whole-heartedly accept the label.
It’s my own fault, every time they hold up the mirror and say ‘do you like it’ I blurt out ‘yes’, even if I hate it. Then I run home cursing my own spineless behaviour and frantically hack away at the aftermath – usually making matters worse.
My last hair-scare was in July. I’ve been wearing hats since! The only consolation is that for the first time in my life I asked for my money back:-)
November 16, 2009 at 9:59 pm
paula
And you really are Alex! Wearing hats…What did they do to you? I’m dying to know/see.
November 14, 2009 at 8:13 am
Jo@LittleFfarm Dairy
Just wanted to say I hope you’re surviving the storms down there – it is absolutely dreadful here with heavy rain & gales tearing down the valley. It seems that as soon as November arrived this year Mother Nature changed her mind about this being a season of mists & mellow fruitfulnes….! It was dreadful on Thursday to the point when I was driving to a meeting & almost had to abandon the idea as the rain was pelting down so heavily that I could scace even see the road ahead – but I’ve seldom seen anything quite as bad as it has been over the last 12 hours or so.
November 16, 2009 at 10:03 pm
paula
Surprisingly we are Jo. It sounded and felt as if every tree would be blown down the gusts were so fierce. But miraculously everything has survived! And thank you for your concern. The battering continues though not quite as severe.
I hope all of you and the ffarm has survived…I wouldn’t fancy trying to carry milk into the centre in all of this.
November 17, 2009 at 3:18 pm
LittleFfarm Dairy
It’s been bad, here; verrry bad. However as despite being ‘punch drunk’ I’ve learned there’s yet more to come….well; that’ll have to be a story for another day….
….Just heartening to know you’re OK, though.
November 17, 2009 at 8:34 pm
paula
Oh Jo no! Did you suffer structural damage and/or flooding? You’re not by yourself again too are you? Trying to cope with everything?
Not much consolation I know…but I am thinking of you.
I think we’ve got severe weather warnings for Thursday and Friday…ah well, batten down the hatches.
November 20, 2009 at 7:34 am
mary
Help. I need one of Alex (I walk Devon)’s hats after a visit to the hairdressers or should that be barbers. My thick strong hair has been reduced to a pixie cap type construct which needs washing every day otherwise it looks as if I have no hair. Thank goodness it grows quite quickly. Something else – the 22 year old girl (replacement for the usual one who is on holiday) who ’sheared’ me has bleached hair dyed pale grey and there am I with my light brown hair going grey and wishing it wasn’t. Strange world.
November 20, 2009 at 10:15 am
paula
Oh no! I know I shouldn’t…but I snorted with laughter at your description. But aren’t you so lucky with the thick strong hair thing…I have baby-fine ridiculously thin hair and have it very short to make it look thicker (like balding men)…so a couple of days of working the stock, rain, hats, and heaven knows what else actually adds texture! Now that’s a thought…I could bottle it?