Well, I’m speechless. Lost for words. Flabbergasted.
Severn, one of the sedate elders of the herd, came bulling. Although she’s getting old and still has a large calf sucking, on Saturday morning she was in full flagrant heat and kicking up a rumpus in the cow palace.
As the cattle are inside Mr Big is no longer running with the cows and calves so I walked her round to his pen. He was delighted at this diversion, not having had any action for a month or more, and began his chat up line without a moment’s hesitation. Sniffing, licking, snorting, nose crinkled up towards the heavens, nose ring practically touching his eyebrows in excitement and anticipation. Drooling and sweating, he gauged a couple of minutes to be enough foreplay and attempted to mount her.
She was having none of it. Tail clamped firmly down she shimmied and sashayed away from him at the crucial moment. Frustrated, but experienced, he resumed his advances. I left them to get their act together and got on with the chores.
After about an hour or so Mr Big was still having no success and his frustration and impatience was beginning to overspill into aggression. So I decided to move Severn in with the new youngster, the toy boy.
I couldn’t believe my eyes… she she flashed him a long, smouldering, come-hither gaze as soon was she through the gate of his pen, and with barefaced brazen lust presented him with a backside on fire and stood as firm as a rock as the show began. Rampant, raw, unrefined sex exploded throughout the cow palace. Mr Big howled with damaged pride at one end of the shed while the new ‘Mr Small’ roared in virile sexual frenzy at the other. Severn, respectable Miss Marpleseque Severn, coudn’t get enough of it!
After a couple of hours of non stop activity the pair settled down to a late breakfast, exhausted and replete. Her belly full and libido sated, Severn demanded to be returned to her calf; she swaggered back to the cows with this almost human smirk. And I swear the grin hasn’t left her face yet.
Severn and her new toy, Mr Small, enjoy a late breakfast! Now I understand it was not for nothing was she duped 'Seven of Nine' - of Voyager fame (see ear tag, and her name...)
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September 15, 2008 at 5:41 pm
Mopsa
Now that is very funny – and rather sad. Poor Mr Big, already usurped by the young upstart, who knows how to please a laydee. I suggest a copy of some suitable lovers manual placed nonchalantly by Mr Big’s pen – with lots of explanatory pictures, is required.
September 15, 2008 at 6:34 pm
paula
Mopsa, so sad – I spent extra time giving him a conciliatory scratch with the pitch fork and fed him oats! A very poor second I’m afraid – he’s still not over it and the trumpeting that goes on is even more heart rendering.
Unfortunately all those rather good how-to-do-it-with-pictures-and-finesse manuals have gone walk about – if you see any…?
September 15, 2008 at 8:48 pm
heidi
I came in for a tea break and found all this passion in the afternoon!
Good on ya Severn! Ah, a late summer fling with a younger man…
He is a pretty handsome little red bull. He may be Mr. Small , but apparently that old saying ” It’s not the size that matters.” truly applies here.
You picked a good one at the auction it looks like.
Still, poor Mr. Big…:(
September 16, 2008 at 1:27 pm
LittleFfarm Dairy
Wahay!
Lucky little ‘new kid on the block’. Looks like your Cow Palace is of similar construction to our new Dairy Complex – an all-wooden build….?
September 16, 2008 at 7:51 pm
paula
Poor poor Mr Big, heidi! He’s getting over it now – slightly – he knows he gets extra scratching with the pitch fork and some real oats!
Severn is still looking like the cat that got the cream…
September 16, 2008 at 7:59 pm
paula
It’s a steel span with wood and Yorkshire boarding. It was started in 2000, but FMD put the scuppers on it. Yes, it’s my pride and joy.
I’ve just remembered, you said the goats needed 2 bluetongue vaccinations – why’s that? They are more ovine than bovine. And have you managed to get them vaccinated yet? I do hope so.
September 19, 2008 at 6:53 pm
LittleFfarm Dairy
Aha. Things have moved on.
I attended a lecture at the Dairy Event yesterday, by an eminently-qualified ‘leading light’ in the Goat Veterinary Society: currently, goats are treated as being far closer to the bovine species than the ovine.
Whilst they may be more approximate in size to a sheep than a cow because they browse rather than graze, the goat’s immune system is significantly under-developed….& in the UK goats have significantly more access to graze than browse & are thus far more susceptible to those nigglingly fatal (ahem) problems, common to ruminants in general.
Subsequently we follow the same worming & vaccination dosages as for cattle – with the exception of Eprinex Pour-On, a wormer widely used by goat & cattle keepers alike: goats require DOUBLE the dose of their bovine chums (don’t ask me why but we’re assured there’s a Good Reason for this).
After haranguing our local Veterinary Surgery & being told we’d still have to wait several weeks to obtain the 100-dose vaccine bottle we’ve now managed to persuade them to give us 3×50ml bottles of the Intervet variant (I bought three to ensure I at least have enough to give the requisite booster to the majority of our goats….as apparently Intervet have ceased making the smaller-dose bottles so we may not be able to get what we need for the booster, which has to be the same serotype in both injections as the Intervet & Merial jabs are NOT compatible).
I managed to get hold of those precious bottles of vaccine by 5.30pm. As it has to be administered within eight hours & we have two flocks of sheep (ours, & our neighbours’) plus two herds of goats (ours, plus those of our friend Jim in Pembrokeshire) to vaccinate, we won’t breach the seals until tomorrow morning….after which, I suspect, we’ll enjoy a pretty frantic few hours.
Then it’s an anxious three-week wait in the hope that the midges don’t hover any closer for the next six weeks…….as there’s another jab to be done; & then yet another three nail-biting weeks to wait before we can rest in the knowledge that at least some of the goats are BTV-free……..(because as frustratingly as ever, the jab isn’t licensed for goats; & as frustratingly ever, any results are sketchy to say the least. NIGHTMARE).
But at least – at last – we seem to be getting somewhere….
September 19, 2008 at 9:54 pm
paula
That’s really interesting – none of this was so when I kept goats – and double the dose for cattle??? Wow!
I’m so glad you’ve managed to get your vaccine. I’ve just read an alarming thing on Farmer’s Weekly interactive – that hundreds of farmers up north are choosing not to vaccinate as they have fears about it mucking up the breeding ability of the animal http://www.fwi.co.uk/Articles/2008/09/19/112274/hundreds-ditch-bluetongue-vaccine-over-breeding-fears.html – well, I sure didn’t hang back.
Good luck with tomorrow – once I’d got over the nerves it was actually quite a simple operation. Let me know how it goes.
September 20, 2008 at 6:55 am
LittleFfarm Dairy
According to the lecture I attended at the Dairy Event at Stoneleigh the other day, it really doesn’t muck up the breeding of animals. We put our Stud Male in with his ladies on Friday evening & we’re vaccinating – come Hell or high water – on Saturday. For a start he’ll already have a good couple of months’ worth of productive semen in his sac (so that should certainly do him!); but anyway, there’s no proof that it causes infertility in male or female animals. Certainly the virus itself can do, when it strikes; & nobody knows just how long this infertility lasts. Nor is there any proof that the vaccine causes abortion storms. In the UK we use the dead vaccine to which there have been no attributable problems.
it was mentioned that the takeup in Wales has been worryingly low, at about 20% – but this may be becuase many of the sheep farmers have their stock running on the mountains at this time of year.
Incidentally in one country where vaccination was made compulsory against BTV only one farmer refused to vaccinate (on religious grounds apparently though goodness’ knows what) – his animals subsequently caught the virus & he lost all his stock.
I would say, “at least the sun’s shining” but of course that only makes for perfect midge weather & our animals won’t be fully protected for another six weeks…..fingers will be multiply crossed here.
At least our hay is cut though (not in so not counting any chickens).
September 21, 2008 at 8:09 pm
paula
I hope the vaccination went off okay jo, and the midges aren’t too bad – of course you could use an insecticide though I’m not sure if the powerful one is okay for milking animals.
I’m glad about your hay – it looks as if you’ll get it in.
October 30, 2008 at 8:22 am
in for winter… « Locks Park Farm
[...] became hysterical in her excitement at the returning herd. She, Princess, is the daughter of Severn, one of the herd matriarchs, and has recently become a strong dominant cow in the herd pecking [...]
April 29, 2009 at 6:56 pm
it’s done…turnout! « Locks Park Farm
[...] and hormonal overload could make him very unpredictable. Not counting his twelve hour steamy sexathon with Severn back last September he’s been denied sex and those tantalising teasing heifers have been keeping [...]