We were like a cartoon characters – exploding out of the duvet, sitting bolt upright, eyes wide open and hair seemingly standing on end. The colossal crack-bang-clap of thunder shocked us awake, the simultaneous lightning flash floodlit the bedroom in a bluish light, the heavens opened and hail hammered down, pounding at the windows and ricocheting off the corrugated roofs of the barns. Wow! Robert leaped from the bed and ran round the house franticly turning off all sensitive probably-blasted-to-the-heavens-by-now stuff, bounded back into bed, snuggled down and pulled the duvet over our heads as we waited for the next explosion, and waited and…waited. That was it, just the one mega blast.
“I think we should wean the calves today” I mumbled from under the duvet
“What?”
“The calves…wean them…today”
“Yes, I heard, but why, what?”
“Well it came to me. Suddenly. Just like that. In a flash of lightning!” I giggled.
So we did.

We also had the biggest, hottest and most satisfying of bonfires. Towering piles of neatly slashed and stacked brash wood from Robert’s hedge laying needed burning up. So armed with a potato sack, an old welly and a match I set about in true bushcraft manner to make a successful fire out of sopping wet wood in an even more sopping wet and liquid mud field, in the rain. We have a joke, and challenge, that if you’re worth your weight you can start a fire anywhere, with anything using just one match (no, we’re not that cruel, and do allow the use of a match still). So with Robert sceptically looking on I said a quick prayer to the god of fire and began. A spluttery tremulous flame licked the wet wood unenthusiastically, spat and hissed greenly, smoked, whorled, danced and grew – stronger, bigger, brighter and burst with that first hot crackle, that’s when you know you’ve caught it, the god of fire! In hot, smoked filled satisfaction, I piled on heaps of branches, feeding the every more persistent hungry flames. It consumed every twig in the matter of an hour and was still warm to the touch this morning. A success indeed – Oh and by the way, did I mention that a splash of diesel at that hissy-green stage works wonders!
We ended the day wassailing the apple trees, toasting them in cider, beating them soundly with sticks and blasting a trumpet solo through their boughs in lew of shotgun. The festivities culminated in a meal with friends.
Tomorrow is Monday, the end of celebrations…for the moment!



15 comments
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January 7, 2008 at 8:35 am
Mootia
A splash of diesel always works wonders, Paula! And lovely to hear about wassailing - to be honest I had to look it up…hope your apple trees respond with plenty of fruits this year….what a great tradition to uphold.
January 7, 2008 at 12:58 pm
Mopsa
Bugger - we meant to wassail and give the trees a good thrashing this year, but as always, forgot at the last moment.
January 7, 2008 at 9:51 pm
paula
we shall have ‘hat fulls, cap fulls, three cornered sack fills’ now Mootia, without a doubt!
I’ve put a link to wassailing too, stupid of me not to think about it.
January 7, 2008 at 10:14 pm
paula
Indeed, bad Mopsa! No scrummy apple cake, juice or cider? Though all may not be lost - our beating could have carried over the valley and shaken those evil apple tree spirits…
January 7, 2008 at 10:34 pm
Jane
Your trees look pretty big… how do you get the apples down? shake them? Our apple tree used to be inside an aviary for an owl that the previous owner kept. Unfortunately it’s really tall and impossible to get to the apples, so I have to wait until they literrally fall of the tree, and then I collect them… we did try shaking it one year, but I got two black eyes! No wassailing here… I’m just hoping the bullfinches eat quite a few of the flowers and we don’t get too many apples… I hate seeing them and not being able to get at ‘em…
January 8, 2008 at 8:30 am
Mootia
Link for your daemon: http://www.goldencompassmovie.com/?840929
Now that would be a coincidence!
January 8, 2008 at 2:34 pm
Gill
Not related to this post, but one thing I would find interesting for you to write about sometime is the economic side of farming. I know very little about it, apart from what is written in the paper about farmers being at the mercy of supermarkets and farms hardly being viable etc. I’d like to know whether the case really is as bleak as it’s portrayed. Do you sell your products directly to supermarkets, or do local shops and farmers markets have a big role to play (and do they have an increasing role?)
January 8, 2008 at 9:05 pm
mary
Have caught up with all your pieces Paula. Wow you have been busy but I think that bonfire did you good. Glad you are over the lurgy or is it lergy. It’s not nice is it and it must be difficult when you’re ill when the animals are waiting to be fed and looked after. Anyway Happy New Year, if it’s not too late, to you and yours. Glad you got your front page sorted - it looked very bare without the layout.
Saw some alpacas recently and found them fascinating. Looked up on a site and found they’re about £4000 each to buy. Is that right?
January 9, 2008 at 7:22 pm
heidi
Wassail!
We held ours on the 5th, 30 good folk trooped happily out into our orchard and made such a noise, drank to the health of the trees, the hops, and to themselves.
It was grand.
Last year we didn’t make such a noise, and not so many apples. So, fingers crossed, we will have many buds, not too early, and plenty of bees to spread their love.
Hey, how’d the weaning go?
January 10, 2008 at 12:18 pm
paula
No, Jane those aren’t our apple trees - those are about 50ft oaks above the cow palace. Stupid of me to have put them there after talking about apple trees, it was too dark for photos when we were wassailing - so though the oaks looked rather splendid with the setting sun of their trunks and branches.
January 10, 2008 at 12:22 pm
paula
Thanks for the link Hannah - haven’t yet had time to look one of those weeks. Will let you know when…
It would be very weird!
January 10, 2008 at 12:23 pm
paula
Thanks for the link Hannah - haven’t yet had time to look, it’s been one of those weeks. Will let you know when…
It would be very weird!
January 10, 2008 at 12:25 pm
paula
Gill, I could probably do pages on the subject and bore the pants off you all!
I’ll have a post up fairly soon.
January 10, 2008 at 12:33 pm
paula
Hope you had a good time away Mary and good to see you back.
The lurgy (I think you’re right) morphed into a strange thing - sore head, spine and legs. Weird and a bit hard to get on with things especially as a very busy week!
No matter.
Alpacas used to command extraordinary prices; I thought they had come down a bit now. I’m not up in their value I’m afraid, but £4000 does seem steep.
All good wishes to you too for 2008.
January 10, 2008 at 12:40 pm
paula
Wassail Heidi!
I’m glad you managed a big noise and much merriment in your orchards - apples should hopefully abound.
Weaning not too bad - a bit of shouting for twenty-four hours then everything settled. Calves are eating well and cows enjoying lounging around without the nuisance of youngsters.